The above photo is not of my storage unit, but it might as well be. I am a notorious pack-rat and when I moved out of my parents' house a few years ago, I was overwhelmed with what had been accumulated over the years. My parents had downsized shortly before I moved out and were eager to send my numerous boxes and bins with me. While unpacking, I found that they were filled with odds and ends that I could not for the life of me figure out why I held onto. I emptied a few boxes, finding a designated place in the apartment for some rediscovered items and trashing others. But truthfully, most of the boxes sat unopened for the entirety of two different leases. I couldn't bring myself to go through them and even tossed items I wasn't sure what to do with inside them.Those unpacked boxes gave me so much anxiety I put them in the trunk of my car for over 12 months just so I didn't have to look at them. Whenever I received any sort of positive commentary about how I manage my life, I would instantly think of The Boxes of Unknown Contents and Anxiety that were sitting in my rusty Nissan Versa.
The reality is, confronting our material consumption is horrendously uncomfortable. The material and financial waste looks particularly ugly in hindsight. How much money could I have saved if I had never been ensnared by an Amazon Prime membership? My problem is not a unique one. Americans produce roughly 3x the amount of garbage of the rest of the global community. I think feeling anxious over being wasteful is what has held me back in recent years when it comes to getting rid of things. Growing up, I held on to things because I was afraid I'd offend the individual who had given me the shirt/pencil/craft. I am now capable of enjoying the sentiment of receiving a gift without a sense of obligation and am pretty good about only holding on to things I like (or need).
A battle I still have to fight on a regular basis is the habit of acquiring clutter. I'm not talking about tchotchkes or non-utilitarian objects. I was cursed as a tween when a well-meaning adult told me to always save my receipts and balance my checkbook, which was solid advice before the era of online banking. But I do my banking online and monitor my credit cards via apps. I don't have to wait for a monthly statement to keep an eye on my charges. And still, I hold on to receipts. I just instinctively stick it in my purse or on my desk instead of into the trash. My car console was an embarrassment of Taco Bell receipts when I was in grad school. My email inbox is even worse. I open my emails, why don't I delete them? My subconscious is locked in a "just in case" mentality when it comes to paper clutter.
Our belongings shouldn't stress us out or make us anxious. We have bills and current events for that. One of the main ideas of minimalism is that we shouldn't be overwhelmed by our belongings. It doesn't require us to live without, but it asks us to consider what is enough. The majority of my belongings currently sit in a storage unit. It is mostly furniture and seasonal clothing that will remain there until I figure out a more permanent living situation. But there are definitely a few Boxes of Unknown Contents sitting in there and my mother is constantly dragging newly discovered boxes out of the attic. I'm hoping that 2020 is the year I finally move beyond the boxes and into a future of empty car trunks.
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